that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
