dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Randomize
