Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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