We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
