yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Did I show you my penis last night?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
