As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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