ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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