So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
