Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
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