he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
