Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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