Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
