Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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