wake up i wanna do it froggy style
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Randomize
