and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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