I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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