love makes seman taste better
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
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