It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
