Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I think your dad took our porno
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
