you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
