he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Too much gin, very little bucket
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
