I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
