I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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