She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Randomize
