I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
We had to coat check the pizza.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
