We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
