i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
