don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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