you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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