Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
