hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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