I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
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