I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
should my penis look like a turkey
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
