I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
