I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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