Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
