so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
