# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
