I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
