I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
