You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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