arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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