that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
So much rum. So many feels.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize