This dress was meant to end up on your floor
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
