Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
