Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
