i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
