It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
A bitchslap is in order.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
