id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
