you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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