Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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